Scars Never Fade
by Menthol Pixie
Summary: D-Tent has been back from Camp Green Lake for five months. Squid's living with his mother. Things were fine for a while, now Squid's going back to his old ways, skipping school, breaking the law, and D-tent needs to help before it's too late.
1. Chapter One

Scars Never Fade

Summary: D-Tent has been back from Camp Green Lake for five months. Squid's  
living with his mother. Things were fine for a while, now Squid's going  
back to his old ways, skipping school, breaking the law, and D-tent needs  
to help before it's too late, but they don't realize how much trouble  
Squid's actually in, and it might be too late already. (Possible slash  
later.)

A/N: I've just edited this, to get rid of some spelling mistakes, and hopefully to make it easier to read.

Dedication: To Coral-Ellen Burrows, 1997-2003, and to all other child abuse  
victims. RIP Coral, New Zealand loves you.

Chapter One

D-Tent sat around the chipped high school cafeteria table, eating food only  
slightly more appetizing than what they were served at Camp Green Lake.

"Man, it's so cold here," Zigzag complained.

"No, it's not," said Caveman, "You're just used to the heat in Texas. It's  
warm here, it's burning there."

Zigzag looked confused but didn't press the issue.

"Hey, so where's Squid today?" Magnet asked.

"Maybe he's ditching," Armpit suggested.

"Man, Squid wouldn't ditch," X-Ray argued, "He knows he's on probation. If  
he breaks the rules, he's out..."

He trailed off as Squid appeared and sat down, setting his tray in front of  
him and keeping his gaze on it.

Armpit elbowed him, "Where were you?"

Squid shrugged, not looking up, "The lunch line was long."

Zigzag frowned, leaning over. Squid moved his hand slightly so that it was  
shading his face.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nuttin'."

"Liar," Zigzag said. He pulled Squids hand away from his face.

"Hey!" Squid cried, looking up to glare at Zigzag. He quickly looked back down  
but not before the rest of D-Tent saw what he was trying to hide.

"Wow, where'd you get that shiner?"

"Jesus, look at that thing!"

"Yeah well, you should have seen the other guy," Squid joked weakly.

"So, what happened?" X-Ray brought them back down to Earth.

Squid just shrugged, "Got in a fight."

X-Ray rolled his eyes and changed the subject.

"Are you gonna hang with us after school?"

Squid shook his head, "Can't."

"Why not?" asked Zigzag.

"Work," Squid mumbled.

"Work? You got a job? Doing what?"

"Stuff."

"What sort of stuff?"

"Just stuff, ok?!"

Squid stood, picking up his bag.

"See you guys tomorrow."

"Something's up," Zigzag said, after Squid had left, slamming the cafeteria  
door behind him.

______________________________________________________________

Zigzag was on his way home from X-Rays. He was in no rush and was walking  
slowly.

Squid, on the other hand, who was, although he didn't know it yet, about to  
turn the corner onto the street Zigzag was traveling, was walking quickly,  
his thin t-shirt and jeans offering no protection from the mid-Autumn cold.  
He was pushing a trolley, less than half full of groceries.

"You know you're not supposed to take them home with you?"

Squid looked up at the familiar voice and saw Zigzag jogging up to him,  
grinning.

"Well, they can't expect me to carry all this home," Squid said in his  
defense, gesturing to the plastic shopping bags.

Zigzag looked at them too. There wasn't much in them: Two loaves of bread,  
a carton of milk and a packet of cereal.

"You dug holes every day for two years, you're tough enough to carry  
those."

Squid shrugged, "I didn't feel like it."

Zigzag frowned, but didn't comment.

"Give me a ride?"

Squid rolled his eyes, "Sure, get in."

Zigzag clambered into the trolley and settled himself down, curling his  
legs up to avoid squashing the bread.

"How's your eye?" he asked, as Squid jerked the trolley into motion.

"Fine," Squid answered shortly.

"Who was the fight with?"  
"Just someone. So where are you riding to?" Squid asked, hastily changing  
the subject. Zigzag didn't seem to notice.

"No where in particular," he shrugged.

His voice vibrated slightly as the trolley bounced over stones.

"What about your place?"

Squid stopped pushing.

"My place?"

Zigzag twisted around to look at him, "Yeah. I've never seen your house  
before."

"Oh... well..." Squid looked around, trying to think of some sort of  
excuse. X-Ray, Armpit, Zigzag and Magnet lived in nice houses in nice  
neighbourhoods. Caveman and Zero lived in mansions in nice neighbourhoods.  
He lived in an old trailor in a bad neighbourhood. It wasn't really  
something to show off about.

Squids eyes fell on a large white house. It had a neat garden, and, clichéd  
as it was, a white picket fence.

"Well, you're looking at it," he lied, gesturing at the house.

"Wow!" Zigzag looked impressed, "Can I come in?"

"No!" Squid said, a little too quickly. "I mean... my mum's... ill..."

"Oh..."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Well, I guess I should head home then."

"Yeah..."

Zigzag climbed out of the trolley difficultly.

"See ya."

Squid watched Zigzag walk off, then sighed and turned the trolley around,  
heading towards the trailer park.

He ditched the trolley behind the trailer, trying to ignore the man sitting  
in the door way of his own trailer, unshaven, wearing an old muscle top and  
smoking a cigarette.

"How's your mother?" the man asked, grinning, showing off his yellow teeth.

Squid scowled at him, "She's waiting for my father to get home."

The man laughed, then started choking on his cigarette, "Oh yeah?" he  
asked, when he'd caught his breath, "Where is he, huh? I sure ain't seen  
him round here in a while!"

"He's in the-"

"Army, I know. You still feeding people that lie? Where's he stationed now,  
huh? Huh? Where's he-"

Squid slammed the trailer door behind him but the wheezing laughter of that  
man hissed through the cracks.

He dropped the groceries on the round kitchen table no one ate at anymore,  
and kicked a few empty beer cans out of his way.

His mother was laying on the couch, posed dramatically, one hand covering  
eyes, the other gently brushing the floor, asleep or passed out. Like that,  
looking so small, thin, delicate, it was hard to believe the wild,  
unexplained fury that she reeked of when drunk. Hard to believe that those nail bitten hands could draw so much blood, cause so much pain.

"Hi Mum," Squid whispered, kneeling down in front of her, "It's me, Alan."

Squid's mother flicked her hand out, as if she were shooing a fly, mumbling  
something incoherently.

Squid sighed, getting up and going to his room. He could feel a headache  
coming on and wanted nothing more, at that moment, then to go to sleep.  
Tossing his school bag aside, complete with unfinished - unstarted -  
homework, kicking off his shoes, he fell back onto the lumpy mattrass,  
covering his eyes.

He awoke a few hours later, not knowing what had woken him. It was dark,  
there were the normal creaks of the trailer, the wind snaking through the  
cracks under the window frames, and then there was a different noise, one,  
he realized, that had settled on his subconscious while he slept and,  
having woken, had only just realized that it wasn't part of his dream.

It was a moaning noise, soft yet shattering his whole silence, a whimper, a  
hiccup. He stumbled out of bed, tripping over a lone shoe, and made his way  
to the door.

His mother was sitting at the kitchen table, slumped over, her face hidden  
in her arms, behind a curtain of hair. She was crying.

"Mum?" he asked tentatively.

Her head shot up, her mascara had run down her face and, in the lamps soft  
light, she looked crazy. Eyes sunken, hair tangled, and Squid noticed the  
wine bottle, half empty, not half full, in her hand. He recoiled slightly.

"What do you want?" she spat the words out between gulps.

"Nothing Ma..."

Squid turned, closed the door.

Not even the lethargic scent of the alcohol could send him back to sleep  
again. He lay awake, the dark biting at his fingertips until he curled them  
into fists.

He waited for morning.

__________________________________________________________________

The teacher, Miss Martins, strode down the lines of desks.

"-and the Treaty of Waitangi was signed in what year?"

She just happened to be passing Squids desk at this moment. Squid was  
leaning his head on his hand, asleep.

"Alan?" she asked, slamming her hand down on his desk with a loud bang.

Squid sat up quickly, blinking and wondering where he was.

"Huh?"

Zigzag bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Miss Martins shook her head, "Not sleeping, were we?"

"No, I-"

"Perhaps you'd like to share with the class what kept you up sp late?"

It wasn't a question, it was an order. Squid thought about saying something  
sarcastic like, 'I'm sorry Miss, but it's very difficult to sleep when  
you're worried about your drunk mother choking to death on her own vomit.'

That would wipe that smug look off of Miss Martins face. Of course, he knew  
he'd never say that.

"Um... studying?"

Miss Martins pursed her lips.

"If you did so much studying, why haven't you finished your homework?"

"I...um..."

Miss Martins snorted.

At this moment the bell rang and Squid breathed a sigh of relief. The  
relief was short lived however, when Miss Martins handed him a detention  
slip.

Squid glanced at the time written on it, "Miss Martins, I can't do  
detention after school today, I have work."

"Well, you should have thought of that before disrespecting my classroom."

"Disrespecting your classroom?! I was only sleeping!"

"You're dismissed Alan."

Squid scowled, "This is bull-"

"Come on Squid!" Zigzag grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room.  
Squid glanced back at Miss Martins from the doorway, sitting in her desk,  
calmly marking some papers.

"She reminds me of the Warden," he muttered before Zigzag dragged him away.

"Me too," Zigzag agreed when they were out of earshot.

"Disrespecting her classroom, my ass! How 'bout you burn down her classroom  
Zig?" Squid asked darkly, "With her in it."

Zigzag frowned. "I didn't mean to burn down that classroom... it was an  
accident."

"Whatever. Hey, I'll meet you in the cafeteria."

"Where are you going?"

"My locker."

"Oh... ok, I'll see you there."

But he didn't. He didn't see Squid in his next class either, or the one  
after, or the next day.

___________________________________________________________

Squid wandered around town, hands in pockets, not at all concerned about  
what he had missed at school. After all, he'd missed two years worth while  
he was at Green Lake and he hardly ever went to school before that.

He wandered into a video store and watched the demos for ten minutes before  
he noticed that the clerk was glaring at him, implying that if he  
wasn't going to buy anything he should leave.

It was getting pretty late anyway.

On the way home he met up with Zigzag. He'd forgotten that Zigzag walked  
this way home from school.

"Squid!" he heard Zigzags voice calling, "Hey, Squid!"

He took a deep breath, knowing that he was about to play 20 questions.

Indeed, Zigzags first words to him were, "Why weren't you at school today?"

"Oh... uh, I was sick," he lied.

"Well, you look alright now," Zigzag pointed out.

"Yeah... I'm feeling better."

Zigzag smiled, "So you'll be back at school tomorrow."

"Uh, yeah..."

"Great! Well, I gotta go. See you tomorrow."

Squid sighed, watching Zigzag walk off. If Zigzag, and the rest of D-Tent,  
knew that he'd been bunking they'd be so disappointed. They'd made a pact  
the day they left Camp Green Lake. A pact that said they vowed not to get  
into any more trouble. It had only been a few months and Squid had broken  
it already. Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd broken the pact but  
it was the first time he'd almost got caught.

Squid lived by the saying, 'It's only illegal if you get caught.'

The only thing wrong with it is that if you do get caught, it'll illegal,  
and you're in big trouble.

Squid reached the big white house he'd told Zigzag was his own. He stopped  
and stared up at it. He wondered who lived in it, what lives they lived, so  
different from his.

The door opened and out stepped a middle-aged woman. She was plump with  
curly brown hair and was wearing gardening gloves.

She waved at him. He waved back slightly, surprised at her unexpected show  
of friendliness towards a piece of 'trailer trash' like him.

He sighed and carried on. It was probably just her way of telling him to go  
away.

Michelle Donaldson watched the teenager as he walked away. She often saw  
him walking past her house, staring at it intently. She wondered what he  
was thinking. She felt sorry for him, she knew he lived in the nearby  
trailer park, knew his clothes weren't suitable for the upcoming winter and  
that he often walked alone, although he was sometimes joined by a tall boy  
with wild hair who called him Squid. She wanted to help him, but what could  
she do? What could anyone do? She turned away and went back to her  
gardening, pushing the boy to the back of her mind. After all, there was  
nothing she could do.


	2. Chapter Two

Scars Never Fade

Chapter Two

'Just my luck,' Squid thought, 'My first day back and history's my first subject.'

History, of course, meant that he had Miss Martins as a teacher.

"Would you like to grace us with your whereabouts yesterday, Mr Smith?"

Squid scowled. He seemed to spend all of Miss Martins classes with a permanant scowl on his face.

"I was sick."

"Oh really? Would that be what your parents said if I were to call them?"

"She won't answer."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah."

"Why not?"

_'Cause she's probably passed out on the couch..._

"She's sick too."

Miss Martins frowned. "Well, seeing you never got to do that detention, you can do it after school today."

"I can't. I've got work."

"Ok, what day don't you have work?"

"I have work every day."

"Fine, you can do it at lunch time."

"Fine."

Zigzag smiled. He knew Squid had won the argument even though he still got the detention.

Squid spent the rest of the class muttering curses under his breath, until the bell rang.

"Urgh," Squid moaned to Zigzag as they walked out of class. "I hate her."

Zigzag shrugged, "You say that about everyone."

"Do not. I don't hate you."

"I don't count."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I don't."

"That's not an answer."

"Yeah it is."

"Whatever... Fine, maybe I do hate everyone."

"Told ya so."

Squid shook his head.

"What do you have now?"

Squid grimaced, "PE. God, I hate PE. I got enough exercise at Camp."

Zigzag nodded, "I've got science."

"How they haven't realized that you shouldn't be let loose in a room full of dangerous chemicals and matches is beyond me."

Zigzag smiled insanely.

Squid smiled too, shaking his head.

"Have fun."

"Oh, I will."

Zigzag disappeared into the crowds of students.

Squid made his way to the gym.

X-Ray was in Squids PE class. Neither of them were outstanding at sports but they were both fit and strong from all the holes they'd dug.

"Hey! Yo Squid! Where were you yesterday?"

"I was sick," Squid mumbled. He didn't like lying to X-Ray, it made him feel like he was betraying D-Tent.

"Oh, ok."

The PE teacher was a large man in his late 40s called Mr. Bowen. He was bald on the top of his head and wore muscle shirts. Squid disliked him because he reminded him of the man in the trailer next to his.

"Hurry up, you girl scouts!"

X-Ray and Squid jumped.

He reminded Squid a little of Mr Sir too.

"Come on," X-Ray said.

Squid pulled on his running shoes and followed X-Ray out of the changing room.

"Alright, we're doing some wrestling today. Everyone find a partner."

Squid and X-Ray moved closer together.

Mats had been set up all over the floor. Squid and X-Ray took one as far away from Mr. Bowen as possible so they wouldn't have to do as much work.

"Ok everyone!" Mr. Bowens voice boomed around the hall. "We're going to be practicing flips. Now be careful, we don't want to send anyone to the emergency room. People facing me will be the flippers.

"Squid groaned, realizing that he was going to get flipped.

Mr. Bowen explained the procedure, "Those being flipped, grab onto your partners shoulder. The flipper, grab your partners neckline, pull the hand grabbing the neckline down and push the other arm up under their stomach, crossing your arms over and flipping your partner."

X-Ray looked about as nervous as Squid felt. He was thinking about all the bruises that could be pressed during the flip.

He took the position, holding onto X-Rays shoulder. He felt X-Rays hand at the scruff of his neck, a slight pressure on his stomach, then unbelievable, burning pain.

X-Ray dropped him as soon as his cry left his mouth. Squid curled up, protecting his stomach, where, the night before, his mother had swiped him with a broken bottle. He deserved it, he guessed, for skipping school. It wasn't that deep really but it had bled a lot and was sore when he moved.

X-Ray was looking at him in horror. Squid looked down and saw that the wound had reopened and blood was seeping into his white polo shirt.

"Squid, what the-"

"It's from that fight," Squid said quickly, teeth gritted. "The one I got the black eye in. It's nothing."

"You're bleeding pretty bad."

Squid looked at his hands. X-Ray was right. They were streaked with blood.

"Take me to the nurse?" he asked X-Ray.

"Yeah, c'mon."

X-Ray helped Squid to his feet. Squid bit his lip to stop himself from crying out again.

"Mr. Bowen?" X-Ray said when they'd made their way across the gym. "Can I take Squi- Alan to the nurse?"

Mr Bowen took one look at the blood on Squid shirt and hands and nodded.

The infirmary was small, white and calm. A bed, a chair, a sink, a locked cabinet full of medical supplies. The nurse was a petite woman, more accustomed to colds and 'flu's rather than blood and gashes, but she compressed the wound to stop the bleeding, then cleaned it and bandaged it. She refused to let Squid leave the infirmary though and made him lie down so as not to 'disturb the wound.' Much as Squid argued, she wouldn't give in.

X-Ray had to leave when the bell rang. He met up with the rest of D-Tent in the cafeteria.

"Where's Squid?" Armpit asked, "I thought I saw him this morning."

"He's in detention," said Zigzag.

"No he's not." X-Ray shook his head, "He's in the infirmary."

"How come?"

X-Ray shrugged, "He got himself cut up in that fight a few days ago. I was flipping him in PE and the wound reopened."

"Man... who'd he get in a fight with anyway?"

X-Ray looked around the table of D-Tent boys. Each of them shrugged.

"Something weird's going on," Zigzag said, his eyes flicking around the room.

X-Ray shoved the shopping list in his pocket after crossing off the last item. He pushed his trolley up to the check-out.

There was something very familiar about the check-out boy. He started to unload the groceries and the boy turned around.

"Squid?!"

"X-Ray?!"

They stared at each other for a moment, then X-Ray laughed.

"Who would have guessed it? Bad-boy Squid working at a supermarket check out!"

Squid scowled, concentrating on the groceries he was scanning, "Lay off X. I don't see you with a job."

"What's up with that uniform?" mocked X-Ray.

Squid rolled his eyes. Suddenly the computer beeped loudly.

"Dammit!" Squid swore, hitting the machine violently.

X-Ray smirked, "Technical problems?"

"Man, shut the hell up! Why you gotta be on my case all the time?"

Squid ran his fingers through his hair, X-Ray had never seen him look so stressed.

"Nothing ever goes right for me! I've gotta work this stupid job five days a week, I've got homework to do, I've got a huge English assignment due tomorrow that I haven't even started, and now this BLOODY MACHINE WONT WORK!"

Squid hit it again, harder.

"Man, chill!"

Squid had his hand raised to hit the computer again, when -

"ALAN SMITH! What, exactly, do you think you're doing?"

Squid froze.

"Oh crap..."

A short thin woman frowned disapprovingly at Squid.

"See me when your shift's over."

X-Ray waited outside the super market until Squid finished his shift.

It was only ten minutes before Squid came out.

"Hey, sorry if I got ya in trouble in there."

Squid sat down on an empty wooden crate. He sighed.

"I got fired."

X-Ray frowned sympathetically. "Sorry."

"It ain't your fault, I was already on probation with it." Squid ran his fingers through his hair, "Man, my Ma's gonna kill me."

"It ain't that bad. You can get another job."

"Do you know how hard it is for a teenager with almost no education, who's spent two years in a juvenile detention camp, to get a job?! It's not exactly an impressive résumé."

Squid put his head in his hands. He groaned, "What am I gonna tell my Ma?"

"I ain't hearing this." X-Ray frowned, "Bad boy Squid, afraid of his mother?"

"You'd be afraid too, if-" Squid broke off.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just forget it, ok?"

Squid let out a deep shuddering breath and wiped his face.

"Squid man, you crying?" X-Ray looked astonished.

"No, I... it's just... God, everything sucks!" Squid kicked a crate viciously. "Ow! Damnit!"

He sat down again, holding his foot.

"Doesn't your mother have a job?"

Squid laughed bitterly, "Yeah right!"

"What about your Dad?"

"Left when I was three."

"Oh... sorry."

"It's not what you think. He's in the army."

"Oh."

Squid stood up. "I gotta go home."

"Want me to walk with you?"

"Nah," Squid said quickly, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Squid nodded. He quickly walked away before X-Ray could confirm his crying theory. He was thinking.

No job meant no money, which mean no alcohol, which meant beatings. Mind you, alcohol meant beatings, but at least when there was alcohol involved he could blame that and not his mother. He could blame the beer bottle, not the hand that swung it.

He knew ways of getting money, not honest ways. Of course, he couldn't break into houses anymore, once people heard that he was back in the neighbourhood they got extra locks on their doors and windows. He'd seen them and even heard two women talking about it at work one day.

"Now that that Alan boy is back I don't feel safe without locking all my doors and windows when I go out," said the first woman.

"I know exactly what you mean," said the second, nodding her head furiously, "I've got three locks on my door."

The police were waiting for Squid when he got to school the next morning. He walked in the gates and saw two police officers talking to the principal. They all turned and looked at him.

His instincts told him to run - the sight of police officers always made him want to run - but he forced himself to think logically. He hadn't done anything wrong, apart from skipping school a few times, but you can't get arrested for that, can you?

The officers walked up to him, one was a woman with short hair and thick eyebrows that were folded into a frown, the other, a man, looking very official, shoes polished and shirt ironed.

"Alan Smith?" asked the female.

Squid nodded wordlessly.

"Could you please come down to the station with us?"

"Why?"

"We'd like you to answer a few questions for us."

"About what?"

"A neighbour of yours has reported a break in at her house-"

"And you think it was me?"

"Was it?"

"No!"

"Well good, this will be quick then," said the male, hardly looking convinced. "Come this way please."

"But I didn't do anything!"

"We just want to ask you some questions."

Students were staring as they passed. Of course, they knew Squids history, and all of D-Tents, it was one of those things that just gets around. Everyone was whispering, wondering what he'd done now.

Squid mind was whirling. He hadn't broken into any houses since he got back from Green Lake, he'd learnt his lesson. Anyway, he wasn't stupid enough to break into a neighbouring house, everyone would know that it was him. Well, he knew it wasn't him but his record spoke against him, pointed the finger. If he was convicted he wouldn't be sent to a juvenile centre, it would be jail this time. Cold, hard jail.

"But I didn't do it! I swear I didn't do it!"

The male officer had a hold of his wrist.

"Calm down Alan, or we'll have to handcuff you."

Squid immediately pulled himself together, he doubted that there was anything he hated more than handcuffs.

"Ok, what we're going to do is take you down to the station and ask you some questions referring to your whereabouts on the night of the break in. When you've answered the questions you can go home."

Squid nodded. Both officers put a hand on one of his shoulders and lead him to the police car.

They reached the gate at the same time as the rest of D-Tent walked in. They stopped, stared.

"Squid...?"

Squid forced himself to look X-Ray in the face, to see the disappointment.

"X, I didn't do anything, I swear."

X-Ray shook his head. He didn't believe him.

The officers ushered him into the car.

"X, please..."

X-Ray turned away.

Squid hid his face in his hands.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	3. Chapter Three

Scars Never Fade

A/N: Guys, I'm so sorry for not posting in so long. First I thought that I'd just have a short break while I studied for exams, and then I couldn't find the book I had written it in! Anyway, I'm back, I found the book, passed my exams, all is good.

Also, I'M ENGAGED! I'm so excited!!!!

Anyway, on with the fic.

Chapter Three

"Damn him!" X-Ray slammed his locker shut at the end of the day.

"Maybe he was telling the truth X," Zigzag suggested weakly, "Maybe he didn't do anything."

"Didn't do anything, my ass! Damn him! Does he realise what he's done? X-Ray was raging. "He's screwed up everything!"

D-Tent stayed silent, not daring to come between X-Ray and his rage.

"That's it! Who knows where he lives? I'm gonna go beat the crap outta him!"

"X-Ray, calm down!"

"No! Don't you guys understand at all? He's gonna go to jail this time!"

"X, maybe he didn't do it."

"Do what? What did he do?" Magnet asked.

"Well, I don't know, but you saw him! getting taken away by the cops, this is frikking serious!"

X-Ray slammed his fists into the wall and leant back against it, breathing heavily.

"...X?"

X-Ray didn't move, "I'm ok... it's just... Damn him! Didn't we make a pact when we left Camp that we wouldn't screw up our lives anymore?"

"Maybe it wasn't his fault?" suggested Magnet, "And if it was, well, everyone makes mistakes, right?"

X-Ray sighed, "Squid can't afford to make mistakes."

"I told you!" Squid insisted, "I was at work!"

"You said your shift ended at six, the break-in was at seven. You had plenty of time to get to the scene of the crime."

"I didn't do it!"

"Judging by your previous history-"

"My previous history has nothing to do with it! I made mistakes and I did the time, ok?! I didn't break in to that house!"

"Alan, calm down. Could you give us a detailed account of what you did when you left work?"

Squid sighed angrily, "I told you. I had to see my supervisor, who fired me-"

"What for?"

"Abusing equipment."

"How did you abuse equipment?"

"I hit the register 'cause it wasn't working."

"Go on."

"Then I left and talked to my friend for about 15 minutes."

"Are you sure it was 15 minutes?"

"Well, I wasn't timing the frikking conversation!"

The officers exchanged glances but Squid couldn't read what they said.

"Would your friend be able to back up your story if we called him?"

"Yeah! His name's Rex Jefferson."

Squid gave them the number and the female officer left to make the call. Squid waited, strumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair.

In 10 minutes the officer came back into the room, "Alibi confirmed. His friend said they spoke for at least ten minutes. I called his work and they confirmed that he was on their security cameras for 15."

"That still gave him 45 minutes."

The officers spoke amongst themselves, as if Squid wasn't there. Finally, the male turned to him.

"Where did you go after talking to your friend?"

"Home."

"Can anyone confirm that?"

Squid shrugged, his mother had been so wasted he doubted she would remember.

The officers talked to each other again.

"Ok, we'll take you home and see if anyone around there remembers seeing you."

Squid knew the chances of that were minimal. His hopes were fading. He was going to be sent to jail for something his didn't do. No one believed him, not even X-Ray.

The trailor park looked so wide and empty when the police car pulled up. It was quiet.

The police officers knocked on Squids trailor door and waited. There was no answer.

Suddenly Squid heard a low, throaty laugh. He turned, so did the officers.

It was the man from the next door trailor, sitting, as usual, on the steps of his trailor.

"Oh!" he cackled, "What've you done this time boy?"

He seemed rather amused.

"Nuttin'," Squid muttered.

"That's what you said last time you turned up with a police escort, and you got sent away for two years!"

Squid scowled.

The male officer stepped forward, "Sir, do you know if this boy was here at seven o'clock yesterday evening?"

The man looked at Squid.

"Sure he was, him 'n' his Ma were fightin' about him losing his job or something."

"Are you sure it was at seven o'clock?"

"Yep, started 'round 6:30, didn't end 'til past eight. Your Ma teach you a lesson, huh boy?"

Squid didn't say anything.

The officers exchanged looks, not quite sure what the man meant by 'teaching a lesson.'

"Come on," the female officer said to the male, "We got a witness who says he was here. Case closed, it wasn't him."

The male looked doubtful, not fully trusting the man.

The female seemed impatient, obviously wanting to leave and go home. "Look, all the evidence says that it wasn't him. The only proof we have is that he got caught breaking and entering two years ago. It's not substantial.

Squid bit his lip, waiting for the male officers final judgement.

The officer looked him up and down.

"You watch yourself kid," he said finally, then both officers walked to their car and drove off.

The man in the next door trailor laughed sinisterly.

"You owe me boy!"

"Squid!" X-Ray came barrelling towards him down the hall, "What the hell is wrong with you? I had the frikking POLICE calling me last night about you!"

"Man, chill!"

"Chill?! You're telling me to chill?!"

X-Ray slammed Squid up against the lockers. Squid had never seen X-Ray lose control like that before, and he'd only just realised how strong digging holes had made him.

"You're gonna get sent to jail!"

"No I ain't! It wasn't me, the police agreed, there wasn't enough evidence! And I got a witness too, that said I was at home at the time of the break in!"

X-Ray let him go. "I hope you know how frikking lucky you are."

Squid nodded.

The rest of D-Tent ran up, skidding to holts, panting.

"Oh good," Zigzag gasped, "You're not dead."

"Huh?"

"We thought - X was - going to - kill you," Magnet said between breaths.

Squid laughed, "Well, he could try."

X-Ray punched him lightly on the arm.

"So what happened?"

"Just the cops being jerks. Accused me of breaking and entering."

"Weren't you scared? Zigzag asked, "I mean, you could have gone to jail."

Squid shrugged, "I never get scared."

Zigzag walked with Squid after school.

"Do you really not get scared?" he asked.

Squid shrugged.

They walked in silence for a while.

"You scared X-Ray."

"Did I?"

"Yeah. He was afraid you were going to jail.

"Hmm," Squid kicked a stone, "There are worse things than jail."

Zigzag looked at him sideways but decided that this was just a normal Squid remark.

"What did your mum say?"

"Nuttin'. She doesn't know."

"She's gonna find out."

"How?"

Zigzag shrugged, "Parents always find out things like that."

"Mm," Squid looked down at his shoes.

Zigzag nudged him, "It ain't gonna be that bad. I mean, you didn't do nothin'."

"You don't know my Ma. She'll get pissed off anyway."

"How come?"

Squid shurgged, "It's just the way she is."

"Sounds awful."

"Nah... anyway, I'm the same way, aren't I?"

"No you're not."

"Kids always turn out like their parents. That's why I'm never having kids, wouldn't want another me messing up everything."

"You don't mess everything up Squidly."

"Don't call me that." Squid screwed up his face, "Did X tellyou I got fired the other day?"

Zigzag shook his head.

Squid sighed, "Working at a supermarket checkout has gott be the easiest job ever and I still managed to mess it up."

"You were working at a supermarket checkout?" Zigzag grinned.

"Oh shut up!"

They reached Squids turn off.

"See ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, if my Ma doesn't kill me first," Squid replied with a smile, though he knew it wasn't a joke.

He walked slowly to the trailor park, pausing outside the large white house he wished was his own.

He never knew what to expect whe he got home: His mother - screaming and throwing empty bottles. His mother - crying in her room, refusing to respond to him. His mother - passed out surrounded by her own vomit. Or his mother - sober but with a hangover, tellnig him to shut up and leave her alone.

He didn't look forward to any of these posibilities. He didn't look forward to going home at all.

He opened and closed the trailor door as quietly as he could but it wasn't quiet enough.

"ALAN!"

Before he could even drop his school bag his mother had backhanded him across the face.

"What's wrong with you?! Are you trying to drive me to an early grave?! I had the police over here today!"

"What did they say?" Squid asked before he could stop himself.

He received another slap across the face.

"Oh you think you're clever, do you? I don't know what the neighbours must've thought... they came to apologize to you, as if you deserve it!"

She snorted, "Saig they caught the culprit so you're off the hook."

She wandered through to her bedroom, swaying slightly from the alcohol, muttering half to herself.

"It's jail next time! Jail! Good ridence! Jail!" She started laughing wildly.

Squid blocked his ears and fled from the trailor, but her drunken laughter followed him.

Squid made his way to the park a few blocks down the street and sat on the swing, rocking it slightly, his hands still over his ears. It was cold out so there was no one about. The wind was rattling the chains of the other swings, slipping down the slide and screaming through the tunnel. The park was surrounded by bushes and trees, completely hiding it from the view of the nearby houses. Squid thought to himself that this would be a good place to commit a crime, then he remembered that a month before he left for camp two years ago there had been a crime committed there. A girl, walking through the park on her way home from a party. Close to midnight, no stars, a few lights on in neighbouring houses. A girl, 13 or 14, Squid couldn't remember exactly what the newspaper said her age was, it seemed so long ago. A man who jumped from the bushes, grabbed her, raped her, left her. A girl who killed herself a week later, hung herself from the very swingset Squid was sitting on.

He stood up quickly, realising why the park had such an empty feel to it, such a feeling of lonliness and sickness. Death...

The swings reeked of it.

Squid looked at the thick bar the girl must have tied the rope to. He could almost see it, swinging gently...

_I could do that_, he thought to himself. Hanging seemed very simple, you just jump and its over. No need to wait for the blood to run out, or for the pills to slow the mind, stop the breathing. No pain. It was all very easy. he wondered where he could get the rope from.

"Hey Squid!"

His thoughts were disturbed by Zigzag voice.

Zigzag ran up to him.

"Hey," he said, "I didn't know you came here."

Squid shrugged, "I normally don't."

Zigzag looked at the swings to see what Squid was looking at. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Erm, what are you looking at?"

Squid took a step back, "A girl died here."

Zigzag stepped back too, "Oh."

"She hung herself."

"Oh," Zigzag said again.

"Yeah."

Zigzag looked at Squid sharply. He didn't like the tone of his voice. It seemed to be suggesting something.

"Are you ok?"

Squid was quiet for a moment, motionless. Then he shook himself, smiled vacantly at Zigzag, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Zigzag hardly looked convinced but Squid ignored it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked casually.

"Just walking. I live just down the road. It was boring at home, there's never anything good on tv any more."

Zigzag grinned.

Squid shivered suddenly, he wasn't sure if it was the cold that crept in at sunset or just the strange cold feeling in the park.

"Why aren't you wearing a coat?" Zigzag asked, hugging his own jacket closer to him.

Squid shrugged, "It didn't seem that cold when I left home."

"Do ya wanna go get it? I'll walk with you, then we can hang out."

Squis shook his head quickly, never for a moment forgetting that he lived in a trailor.

"Nah," he thought quickly, "I got in a fight with my Ma. She found out."

"Told ya she would."

"Yeah, the police came around before I got home to apologize." He then remembered the good news, "Oh yeah, they caught the person who actually broke into the house."

"hey, that's great!" Zigzag exclaimed.

"Yeah."

"No, seriously! Hey, wanna come to my house for dinner to celebrate?"

Squid frowned, "Wont your Ma be annoyed?"

"No way! She always makes too much food anyway, she loves feeding people."

Damnit, Squid thought to himself. There was no way for him to refuse without seeming rude. Zigzag was his best friend, how could he tell him that all he really wanted was to be left alone so that he could kill himself in peace?


	4. Chapter Four

Scars Never Fade

A/N: Thanks everyone who reviewed and congratulated me on my engagement. I read them so I was in a good mood and decided that I'd post again as soon as possible. So here it is...

But first, just a warning, in this chapter things are gonna get pretty serious, so if you can't handle under-aged prostitution (not graphic in any way) then don't read. Also, the next chapter is gonna involve slash, so if ya don't like, don't read.

So, NOW, here it is...

Chapter Four

Zigzags mother was a large woman. She smiled a lot, Squid noticed. His own mother never smiled.

"Can Squid stay fo dinner?" Zigzag asked.

"Of course," Zigzags mother smiled.

"Thanks Mrs Kasch," Squid said, feeling uncharacteristically shy in such a big, expensive house. He felt out of place.

"Oh please, don't call me Mrs Kasch! It makes me feel so old!" she laughed, "Call me Sharon."

Squid just smiled.

"Come on Squid, I'll show you my room."

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes you two!" Sharon called after them.

"OK mum!" Zigzag called back. "My rooms upstairs," he said quieter.

Squid followed him, taking in his surroundings in awe. He'd never seen so many expensive things in one house, apart from Cavemans and Zeros, but that was different, they were millionaires.

Zigzags room also matched the rest of the house. It was painted blue and had a tv, computer and its own bathroom.

"Wow," Squid stood in the middle of the room, "Your house is amazing."

Zigzag shrugged, flopping down on his bed, "It's no bigger than yours."

"Huh?" Squid asked before he could stop himself, then he remembered the white house, "Oh yeah... yeah."

Squid looked at the photos on Zigzags desk. They were all of Zigzag and his mother, apart from one which was of D-Tent the day they left Camp.

"Where's your dad?" he asked.

"Don't got one," Zigzag said, unconcerned.

Squid whirled around and looked at him hard, "Don't you?"

"Nah, he took off when I was two."

Squid was surprised that anyone could be so open about their father leaving.

"But, you know, so what? I mean, you don't have a dad either."

"I do too!" Squid lied indignantly.

"Oh," Zigzag sat up, "Sorry, I just assumed... I mean, you only ever talk about your mum."

Squid turned away, "He's in the army."

Zigzag shrugged, "I don't think about my dad, it's his loss, ain't it?"

Squid nodded, "Yeah, his loss..."

"Boys! Dinner's ready!" Sharon called.

"Come on," Zigzag said, "My mum's the best cook ever."

Squid followed Zigzag down the stairs and into the dining room, still feeling slightly unwelcme. Sharon changed that though. Squid decided very quickly that she was the nicest person he had ever met. Unlike most adults, she called him Squid instead of Alan. She had a no-nonsense approach to life that Squid liked.

"So Squid, you were at Camp Green Lake with Ricky?"

Squid nodded.

"What were you in for?"

"Mum!" Zigzag hissed. He turned to Squid, "Sorry, she doesn't know when to be quiet."

"Ricky, I asked Squid a question, that's all. If you don't want to answer, Squid, that's alright with me."

Squid shrugged, "Breaking and entering, and theft."

Sharon nodded, "Well, we all make mistakes, don't we?"

Squid shrugged again.

"You know Sharon, Zig was right, you're a great cook. This is the best food I've ever tasted!" Squid was feeling much more comfortable now.

Sharon beamed, "Thank you Squid! And you too Ricky."

She cleared her throat, "Well, I'd better go clean up."

Squid looked at his watch, "I guess I'd better go."

"Ok, Squid, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too Sharon."

Sharon flashed him her award winning smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

Zigza walked Squid to the door.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk home with you?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. Man Zig, your Ma is awsome!"

Zigzag shrugged, "Yeah, she's alright, I guess."

"Zig, she's great! Dude, you have no idea how lucky you are."

(break... this hasn't been working when I do my star-star-star -- things so from now on I'll just write 'break')

"ALAN!" We're outta booze! Go buy some more!"

"I'm not old enough to buy alcohol Ma."

"Well, steal it then! You're good at that, aren't you?"

"Ma-"

"Do you want a hiding?! Get outta my house and don't come back without something to drink!"

Squids mother slammed the trailor door in his face. Squid stood there for a moment, trying hard not to cry. He'd lied when he said he never got scared. Most of the things he said these days were lies. He got scared, not when his mother was drunk, but when she wasn't. He was scared that she actually hated him as much as the alcohol told her she did.

He leant against the trailor door, putting his head to it. It was hard to believe that just an hour ago he'd been at Zigzags house, eating and laughing and not being afraid that he'd speak too loud and get smacked, or say something wrong and get smacked, or move and get smacked.

Finally he stood up straight. He looked down at himself - faded jeans and a black t-shirt. He was wearing his white cap with the stripes through it. Not the perfect outfit but it would have to do.

This was his back-up plan, the last resort, and it was so easy, it didn't even require planning. It was so much simpler that breaking into houses.

His watch said 9:30 so he'd be able to catch the bus. He thought about bus time-tables as he walked to the bus stop, he thought about the prices of beer, wine, compared them, added them, multiplied them. He thought about his fake ID that he hardly ever had to use. No one asked. No one cared.

He took the bus to his desired destination and stood at the bus stop for a moment, trying to re-aquaint himself with the street, the nameless faces, the heavy atmosphere. The street seemed to sigh. It was like the bored bar-tender who served you saying, "So what's your story, kid?" but never really listened to the answer.

Squid leant against a street lamp so the rim of his cap left his face in shadow.

(break)

Squid walked slowly down the school corridor the next day, limping slightly. He knew he had dark rings under his eyes, which were half closed. His eyelashes kept blurring his vision. He hadn't slept at all last night, but he had earned $450, so it was worth it. He'd arrived back at the trailor at 4am, dumping the case of beer on the kitchen table before stumbling to his bed. He lay there for hour, staring blindly at the ceiling, concentrating on the waves of pain that broke over his body.

He leant against his locker, putting his aching head to the cold metal, closing his eyes. He tried to feel hate for his mother, he tried so hard to hate her for what she made him do, for what she'd done to him, for becoming what she'd become. But he couldn't do it. She was his mother, and, much as he wanted to hate her, he knew he loved her.The person he hated was himself. He'd always hated himself, for as long as he could remember, he hated himself at Camp Green Lake, when he got there and when he left, he hated himself before getting arrested, before getting into crime, beforehe worked the streets, before his mother first hit him.

The metal of his locker was warming up, so he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, straightening up.

He limped to the cafetaria, not bothering to get a tray of food, and sat down next to Zigzag at D-Tents table.

"Geez! You look _terrible_!"

"Thanks," Squid muttered sarcastically.

Zigzag nudged him, "Aren't you eating?"

Squid shook his head, thn laid it down on the table.

"Are you ok?"

"Mmhm."

D-Tent exchanged glances.

"What's wrong?"

Squid made an effort to lift his head but gave up.

"Nuttin'. Just tired."

"What time did you get to sleep last night?"

"I didn't."

"Why not?"

Squid shrugged.

They were quiet for a while, then Caveman spoke up, "Hey, my mum wants to know if you guys wanna come round for dinner tomorrow, she hasn't seen you in ages."

All of D-Tent, except for Squid and Caveman, smiled. They loved Cavemans house and there was always heaps of delicious food.

Cavemans offer reminded Zigzag of his own. He nudged Squid to make sure he was awake.

"Wha...?"

"My mum wants you to come for dinner again soon, she says you're too skinny."

"Ok..."

Next thing Squid knew, someone was shaking him and there was a loud ringing in his ears.

"Squid, wake up!"

"Huh?"

"You fell asleep, we gotta get to class."

"Oh... ok."

Squid stood up, reaching for his bag. He looked around at the emptying cafetaria.

"What class do I have?" he asked, trying to catch up on what was happening.

"Your favourite subject subject," Zigzag grinned, "History."

"Urgh!" Squid groaned, "Why'd you have to wake me?"

"Because," Zigzag took Squids arm and began pulling him out of the cafetaria, "You're not allowed to skip school anyone."

"Can't I just skip history?" Squid moaned.

"Nope," Zigzag grinned.

"I hate you."

"You say that about everyone."

(break)

Squid stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, feeling even more uncomfortable at Cavemans house than he had been at Zigzags. Everyone was swimming in the pool, splashing and laughing.

Squid couldn't go in the pool, he couldn't wear swimming shorts in front of D-Tent. They'd see the bruises.  
"Aren't you coming in?" Caveman asked.

Squid shook his head, "Nah. I'm gonna go get a drink," he said quickly before anyone could ask why he wasn't swimming.

Squid got himself a glass of water, wondering why his hands were shaking. Maybe it was just being in Cavemans house, where there were so many expensive things...

Squid shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. He wouldn't steal from friends, never...

He clenched his hands into fists to stop himself. He'd forgotten how tempting it was, how easy.

He went back outside and stood by the pool, watching the others.

The feeling was still building up inside him, his hands were shaking so badly he had to put them in his pockets to hide them.

"Well, I'd better go," he said, aware that he was looking uneasy.

"OK," Caveman looked at him oddly.

"See ya."

Squid left quickly, before anyone had a chance to say anything, his hands now curled into fists as he walked past all the expensive nick-nacks that wouldn't be missed...

"Whats up with him?" Magnet asked.

X-Ray shrugged, "Who know? He's getting to be as weird as you Zigzag."

Before Zigzag could reply, Cavemans mother appeared in the doorway.

"Has anyone seen my pearl earrings? I wanted to wear them tomorrow night but they don't seem to be in my jewelery box."

Caveman shook his head, "Sorry mum, I haven't seen them."

"Hmm."

There was an uncomfortable silence after she left.

"You don't think that Squid...?" Armpit broke the silence.

"Nah," Zigzag said, shaking his head, "He wouldn't."

Everyone was quiet again.

(break)

School the nest day passed quickly and uneventfully.

squid carefully avoided D-Tent, hiding his face from the students in class and in the hallways.

He has another black eye, violently purple and swollen. His mother had run out of alcohol that morning, once again delivering the ultimatum of 'come home with booze or don't come home.' At that time, not coming home at all didn't seen that bad.

(break)

"Oh crap!" Zigzag exclaimed, searching through his bag, "I think I left my notebook in my locker."

"So what?" asked Magnet, "You actually gonna do your homework?"

They all laughed, including Zigzag.

"No way, it has Beckys number in it!"

Becky was a dark haired girl in Zigzags math class. She was cute sure, but Zigzag wasn't interested. He didn't have her number. In truth, he was actually going to do his homework, but he'd never admit that to D-Tent.

"I'll be back in a minute," he called over his shoulder, "Wait for me."

Zigzag had just reached his locker when he heard a noise.

With thoughts of burglers stealing exam answers, he flattened himself against the wall and inchede his way forward. He glanced cautiously around the corner.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he saw that it was only Squid. He was about to say something but he realised that Squid was using one of the school phones.

Squid sighed impatiently, he was pacing slightly. Then he stopped, obviously because someone had answered.

"Hi, Dad? It's me, Alan-"

Zigzag, of course, couldn't hear Squids fathers reply of 'Don't call me again,' but he saw Squid break off mid-sentence, and he guessed his father had hung up on him.

Squid took the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, then he sighed and put it back on the hook. He leant against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.

Zigzag felt he should say something but didn't know what.

"Hey Squid,"

The effect those two words had on Squid was astonishing. Squid jerked upright, his hands flew away from his face, knocking the phone off the hook. It swung on the cord like a hanged man, playing the dial tone.

"Oh, hey Zig," he knelt down to pick up the phone, "Uh, how long have you been standing there?"

Zigzag noticed Squid wiping his face with the back of his hand and realised tha he'd been crying.

"Not long," Zigzag lied, not wanting to cause Squid any embarrassment.

Squid put the phone back on the hook, "I was... I was just... um, making a call."

Zigzag nodded, "So do you wanna come round tonight? My mums making a roast."

Squid bit his lip, "Uh..."

"Oh come on! Mum's expecting you."

"Oh, well, ok, I guess."

"Great! See you at six?"

"Ok."

Zigzag turned and walked back to where all the other D-Tenters were waiting, smiling, until he remembered the earrings. Had Squid really taken them?

"Finally!" X-Ray said impatiently.

"What took you so long?" asked Magnet, "Where's your notebook?"

"Huh?"

"Your notebook Zig, your notebook. Honestly, you get weirder every day."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Well it's been years since I undated this story but a lot of people insisted I did. I actually lost the book I'd written this in so this is a, hmmm… revised version. It's a joint effort between me and alicetherobocat, Cos I'm too lazy and busy with my 5 month old to write it all again. So mainly thank alicetherobocat for the continuation of this story.

**Chapter 5: Sweet Sixteen?**

"We're all going out tonight, wanna come?" Zigzag asked his smaller friend as they walked home from school.

When Squid didn't reply, Zigzag poked him. Squid groaned and looked up to his friend.

"Huh?"

"Wanna come to the arcade with me and the rest of D-Tent?"

"Sorry, I've got…things to do." answered Squid wearily.

Zigzag smirked "What, are you gonna do your homework?"

Squid managed to laugh but it came out as a hiss. "Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?"

Zigzag smiled and shook his head as he ruffled Squid's brown hair.

"So what are you doing then?"

Squid simply shrugged. "Just stuff."

Zigzag looked at him sideways, "Nothing illegal, right?"

Squid paused, a moment too long for Zigzags liking. "Nah, course not."

"Cos if you are-"

"I'm not doing nothing, alright!"

Zigzag nodded, thinking about Caveman's mothers earrings. He quickly pushed the thought away. They walked in silence until they got to Squids turnoff.

"Then…see you next week," waved Zigzag as he carried on toward to his house.

Squid waved back. 'If I make it through this evening' thought Squid grimly. He watched Zigzag turn the corner then he forced himself to walk towards the trailer park.

His body was aching, numb, all of his arms and legs were covered with bruises and he was confused and sad. It wasn't meant to be like this. Hadn't they all looked forward to getting out of Camp? Wasn't it supposed to be better? And not even D-Tent could help him.

He glanced at the abandoned park. He remembered the girl who hanged herself again, he wished he had enough courage for that. He already felt as empty as that girl must have been. Empty, lonely, misunderstood, abandoned, unloved. Squid sighed, he was 16 and felt like dying.

He pushed the thoughts away and carried on to the trailer park.

The man next to his trailer came out and smirked "Ooo…aren't this the boy who sold himself? I saw you last night. Boy, you know you have to pay to me for saving your nice ass from the jail" Squid stopped and turned to face the man.

"I…I have nothing to pay to you," said Squid as the blood rushed to his face. Nice ass?

The man laughed loudly, "Sure you do! Come to the Mary Alley tonight. You pay me there. By bringing those lips" The man smirked and Squid felt like he would throw up any second.

Squid smirked weakly "And what if I don't?" he challenged.

The man lit a cigarette and raised it to his mouth, still smirking, "Then I will tell your Ma, the police and your frizzy boyfriend about how much a worthless whore are you, boy."

"Zig is not my boyfriend!" Squid muttered, at a loss for what to say.

The man was still smirking. "Sure he is not," he mocked.

Squid gave up. He had no energy left. "What time?"

The man blew smoke to Squid's direction. "Nine o'clock. Don't be late." With that, the man entered his own trailer.

Squid felt even dirtier than before. He entered the trailer, glad to find his mother passed out again. He made his way to his "room" and waited for the night.

~Night: 9 PM~

Zigzag was just leaving the arcade he went to with D-Tent, minus Squid who didn't come. He had a lot of fun and believed that nothing could spoil his happiness.

He was wrong, of course.

When Zigzag heard a moan, he snapped out of his thoughts and looked around. He saw nothing. Believing that it was another game that his paranoia played to him, he continued his walk. He heard a groan this time. Okay, his paranoia couldn't play with him this much.

He heard the curse, "Fuck," and paused. _Maybe_, he thought, _horny teenagers are having fun. _Zigzag blushed. He continued his walk past Mary Alley. He glanced into the dark alleyway and froze.


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: Once again, this was co-written. I wont ramble on cos I have to post this before my son wake up. Enjoy! And R&R!

Chapter 6: Heartache Every Moment

_From lashes to ashes  
And from lust to dust  
In your sweetest torment  
I'm lost  
And no heaven can help us  
Ready, willing and able  
To lose it all  
For a kiss so fatal  
And so warm_

Oh it's heartache every moment  
From the start 'til the end  
It's heartache every moment  
With you  
Deeper into our heavenly suffering  
Our fragile souls are falling  
It's heartache every moment  
Baby with you

And we sense the danger  
But don't wanna give up  
'Cause there's no smile of an angel  
Without the wrath of god

Oh it's heartache every moment  
From the start 'til the end  
It's heartache every moment  
With you  
Deeper into our heavenly suffering  
Our fragile souls are falling  
It's heartache every moment  
Baby with you  
My darling with you

From lashes to ashes  
And from lust to dust  
In your sweetest torment  
I am lost  
And we sense the danger  
But don't wanna give up

Oh it's heartache every moment  
From the start 'til the end  
It's heartache every moment  
With you  
Deeper into our heavenly suffering  
Our fragile souls are falling  
It's heartache every moment with you  
That's right

_~ Heartache Every Moment by H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty)_

His friend, his best and only friend Squid, was on his knees in front of a man. The man was older. He was groaning, moaning and thrusting his hips to…Zigzag didn't want to think that. Squid was giving that man pleasure. And he was only sixteen!

He looked at Squid. He was flushed, dazed-looking and messy. His brown eyes were open and Zigzag saw…vulnerability and helplessness? Zigzag felt something rising inside.

The man groaned loudly and Zigzag closed his eyes. He didn't want to see that. He heard a sound of a zipper being pulled up and a rustling of what sounded like money.

"There you go, pretty thing," the man said, smirking.

Squid just stared at ground, feeling empty and dirty. His eyes were dull and blank, staring at the $50 the man threw.

Zigzag hid behind a few boxes which were at the corner of the alley. Zigzag sighed in relief when the stranger walked to the other side. He waited for a moment and alerted when he heard a broken sob.

Zigzag stood up quickly and entered the alley. Squid's head snapped when he heard footsteps. He froze at his spot when he saw his best friend's face. Zigzag looked angry.

Before he could say anything, Squid found himself pressed against the brick wall.

"Squid, what the hell are you doing?!" said Zigzag. Squid winced when he pressed against the wall. A few nights before, a man kicked his back when Squid had done something wrong. It caused a big, purple bruise.

Squid, except being shocked, was angry, scared and confused. He was scared because of Zigzag's anger. He'd never seen Zig that angry before. He didn't have time to think. Zig wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to know. Squid felt somehow like he'd betrayed him. It felt like as if Zigzag owned him or…was his lover. And he was angry because it was none of Zigzag's damn business!

But, Squid found himself saying nothing, just staring at his best friend. Zigzag, on the other hand, was hurt. He couldn't believe his eyes. A moment ago, Squid had knelt in front of a stranger, giving him something that no sixteen-year-old should give to an adult.

Zigzag loosened his grip. Squid was looking at him in disbelief.

"Well… what the fuck?" Zigzag said

Squid shook off Zigzags hands and crouched down to pick up the money he'd dropped when Zigzag had grabbed him.

"You're getting paid for this?" Zigzags anger had died down. Now he was just confused.

"Leave me alone," Squid mumbled, trying to walk away.

"Leave you alone?!" Zigzag grabbed his shoulder. "What are you doing out here?! With that man! You can't just-"

"Can't just what?!" Squids anger flared up and he jerked out of Zigzags grasp, "I can do whatever the hell I want! If you don't like what you see, stay the hell away from whore street!"

"Squid-"

But Squid was already gone. Shoving his money into his pocket, he vanished into the night.

Zigzag was walking down the street with X-Ray, Armpit and Magnet. They were talking about some band Magnet had seen perform, but Zigzag wasn't paying attention.

"I think Squid's in trouble," he threw out into the conversation.

X-Ray, Armpit and Magnet all stopped walking.

"What sort of trouble?" X-Ray asked.

"I dunno. Like, I think he might owe people money or something. He just seems to really need some cash right now…" Zigzag trailed off.

"Who would he owe money to?" Magnet asked.

"Lots of people," Armpit shrugged. "Loan sharks or drug dealers-"

"You think Squid's on drugs, Ziggy?" X-Ray narrowed his eyebrows.

"Nah, I didn't say that." Zigzag didn't want this to get out of control. He didn't know what X-Ray would do.

"Is that why he took Caveman's mums earrings?" Magnet asked.

"You don't know he took them," Zigzag argued, beginning to regret starting the conversation. "She might have lost them."

"Why don't you ask him?" Magnet said.

Armpit rolled his eyes, "Yeah right, what? We just gonna go up to him and say, hey, did you take Caveman's mums earrings? What do you think he's gonna say to that? Oh yeah, sure, I pawned them to fuel my drug habit. Get real. Besides, he's not here, is he?"

"He's just up there." Magnet pointed further up the street. They all looked up just in time to see Squid walk into the Liquor Store.

"I thought you said he needed money. What's he doing buying booze?" X-Ray glanced at Zigzag.

"He can't be buying booze. He's not old enough."

""Maybe that's what he needed the money for."

Zigzag frowned. "Squid doesn't drink."

"How do you know?" Armpit asked.

"He did pass out in the cafeteria that time…" Magnet said.

"He fell asleep!" Zigzag argued, "That's not the same."

"Well, I'm going to talk to him." X-Ray marched forward.

Zigzag, Magnet and Armpit followed.

"I've never seen Squid drunk," Zigzag insisted.

X-Ray just kept going. They reached the entrance of the Liquor Store just as Squid was walking out. He was carrying two bottles in brown paper bags. It took a moment for Squid to realize that he'd just come face to face with half of D-Tent.

"Oh… hey…" Squid looked at them nervously.

"Where'd you get the money for that?" X-Ray asked, motioning to the bottles.

"I… ah…" Squid glanced at Zigzag.

X-Ray glared at him, "Did you take Caveman's mums earrings?"

"What? No! I haven't taken anything!" Squid looked down at the alcohol. "And this isn't even for me. I got it for someone else."

X-Ray shook his head, "Squid, are you drinking?"

"No!"

X-Ray frowned, not knowing whether to believe him. He sighed, "Squid, are you in some kind of trouble?"

Squid looked away from X-Rays penetrating stare. "Nah, I'm fine."

"You're quiet tonight, Squid," Sharon observed, watching Squid over the dinner table.

Squid forced a smile. "Just tired."

Zigzag glanced at him. "Where you out last night?" he muttered under his breath.

"I wasn't anywhere last night."

Squid wondered why he had agreed to come here tonight. He was sick of the way Zigzag was looking at him. He hadn't been 'out' last night anyway. He'd been at the park again, sitting on the swings. The moment he'd got home his mother had thrown a bottle at him, so he'd left and stayed in the park all night.

He was tired, but not just in the way Sharon took him to mean. He was tired of everything. School, his mother, even D-Tent.

"Wanna come up to my room?" Zigzag asked.

Squid shrugged, "I guess."

Squid sprawled himself out on Zigzags bed, aware that Zigzag was watching him.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me."

Zigzag glanced away, then back. "What's that?"

Squid looked down to what Zigzag was gesturing at. His shirt had come up slightly and his stomach was bruised.

"Nothing."

Zigzag bit his lip. "Squid… are you ok? Really?"

For a moment Squid looked as if he would cry. "It doesn't matter."

"But it does. I'm worried about you."

It was too much. Squid rolled over so he was facing away from Zigzag. He couldn't control the tears any more. Zigzag was next to him immediately, pulling him into a hug. Squid sobbed into Zigzags shoulder.

"Squid…" Zigzag hesitated, "What's happened? Or happening? What's going on with you?"

Squid choked back his sobs. "It's just…"

"What?" Zigzag probed gently.

"It's my mum." Squid covered his face with his hands. "She drinks."

Zigzag looked confused. "My mum drinks occasionally," he said.

Squid shook his head, "My mum drinks every day."

"Oh…" Zigzag didn't know what to say. "Is that who the booze was for when we saw you the other day? Your mum?"

Squid nodded, wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hand.

"Well why didn't you say so? X-Ray and that were thinking you…"

Zigzag trailed off and he saw Squid shaking his head vigorously. "You can't tell anyone Zig."

Zigzag frowned. "But why? I don't get it."

"It's no ones business but mine, alright?"

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Zigzags hand still on Squids shoulder.

Eventually Squid sighed. "I should go."

"No, stay here tonight." Zigzag offered hopefully.

Squid shook his head, but lay back down on the bed anyway, "But your mum…?"

"She wont care at all," Zigzag moved to the doorway and stuck his head out the door, yelling, "Mum, Squid's gonna stay the night."

"Ok," Sharon's voice answered.

"See?" Zigzag turned back to Squid, but Squid was already asleep.


End file.
